People are always telling me they can’t believe how productive I am, and all that I get done with 3 kids (3 and under). Well I could write a whole post about not watching TV, and enjoying my projects, etc. Blah blah blah…But the truth is, I find myself looking at my phone A LOT. I’ve been feeling really convicted about this lately… especially when my girls are around wishing I was paying attention to THEM instead of whatever I’m looking at on Facebook or Pinterest.
For the most part, Paisley and Della are good at playing together and making their own fun. I think part of this is because they have always had each other so they don’t depend on me as much. And while I still make a point to dedicate time to getting down on their level and playing with them, it’s still been a huge blessing when it comes to keeping up with housework, all my projects, and remembering to maintain my own hygiene.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a tricky thing. Am I spending enough time with them? Am I spending too much time with them? At what point do we just step back and realize that our kids are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, polite little humans?
Despite choosing not to guilt myself over not spending enough time with my littles, I’ve decided to use my phone AS A PHONE (and a camera)… and not as a computer. I deleted Facebook and Pinterest from my phone, and am astounded with how much I don’t miss it. I allow myself to sit down at my computer a handful of times each day and just check in on my emails and any Facebook notifications, and it’s sooo sufficient. How did I let myself lose so much self control with my phone?
I desperately don’t want my kids to ever think I care more about anything else more than them. I want to be undistracted and present in my own life. Technology is a huge blessing in so many ways, but it can also be a major handicap if we let it.
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As a new stay at home mom (& a first time mom at that) I feel the same way. There have been so many times I’ve been tempted to ditch the smart phone for just a regular old phone so that the temptation isn’t even there. I find that I feel especially guilty about it when I’m nursing my lo & realize my quick look at facebook has turned into a much longer period of time. Thank you for sharing! Now I’m off to weed out all of my “time consuming” apps!
I would scroll FB when I was feeding my 4-month old, and then felt soooo guilty because that’s prime ‘bonding’ time. I’m glad I’m not the only one! 😉 I sure don’t miss it now that I don’t have access to it on my phone.
I have what I affectionately call a “stupid” phone – it calls, it texts, and that’s about it. I have staunchly refused to get a Smart phone because I spend too much time on FB and Instagram and Pinterest as it is. I applaud your efforts to back away from the electronics and technology we all seem to be so firmly tethered!
I’ve been feeling the same way too! I agree it’s time to step back, especially during the summer when it’s so nice 🙂
In answer to your question: ” At what point do we just step back and realize that our kids are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, polite little humans?” RELAX! You are doing a great job. I think you were very wise, however, to realize your phone was causing a problem. I wish more people (not just parents) would realize the same thing. You’re doing great mom – continue on!
What a brilliant idea to delete time-consuming apps from your phone! Working from home is a big struggle, sometimes it feels like you can’t win. Guilty if you spend time playing with your kiddos; and guilty if you choose work over the family. I admire you for choosing to be more present. Definitely working on that.
I definitely feel your pain! I feel guilty when I don’t spend enough time with my family, and then also when I don’t spend enough time working on my business. It’s definitely very hard to juggle both! My only suggestion with your phone is to turn it onto silent. Do I miss text messages and phone calls all the time? Yes. However, for me personally, I find that not hearing the constant bells and whistles allows me to concentrate on more important aspects in life. Best of luck 🙂
Girl. Girrrrrrrl. I am with you. I deleted FB from my phone about 3 months ago. It was actually kind of hard at first but, like you, I felt I was missing out on LIFE by staring into my lap all day. Good for you!
I gave up Facebook about 10 months ago too as part of a “Happiness Project” thing (after the book where you do different things each month outside your comfort zone to change your life and learn more about yourself and be….present!) and it opened my eyes too. Another one I do now every day is put on music and dance around as soon as I wake up. My son thinks I am crazy, but now he does it with me and it’s so fun (he is 5, Max). Just keep doing what you’re doing. A little guilt is just part of the Mommy ride I think. Btw…. your photos have totally inspired me to get a big girl camera and take lessons. Need to start a Dave Ramsey envelope first, but can’t wait. Be well 🙂 -Christy
I know exactly what you mean. We are all guilty in our family of handing the kids a phone to help them behave or distract them. While they do have their place, we older generation raised our kids just fine without them. Don’t get me wrong, there are definite advantages to being connected to FB or Pinterest as far as entertaining and interacting with the little ones but not to the point that websites consume more of you time than the kidos do! It is a tough balancing act that I know I haven’t mastered yet. Being the grandmother, it is really easy to give them everything they want. Sometimes though, you just have to say NO!
I took Facebook and Twitter off my phone about a year ago, and only look at Instagram once a day, and I don’t find that I miss the interaction at all. I just…I don’t. 🙂
xox
This is exactly why I have not switched to a smart phone…..the old ghetto phone with no data for me is fine. I still read my daily blogs and check email/ FB but in fots and starts around my family time. If I had a smart phone I would be a comatose addict, that I know about me. So, no to that. Good for you for being present and cognizant.
My hubby and I are fairly new to “smart phones.”
Even though we don’t use them much I am starting to notice our 2 almost 3 year old REALLY likes to use them. He sees his cousins on them all the time.
And it’s really bothering me lately! So I decided last night I just have to let the house be messy for a bit and get on the floor and remind him how cool it is to play with all the toys he has.
Oh, and hide the electronics from him. 🙂
It’s hard to do but amazing the difference!
Trisha – I feel you’re right about hiding the electronics from children. It kills me to watch our youth become so mesmerized by the screen that they forget to live. Went to a luncheon that had 2 tables of teenagers — everyone of them were staring at their phone and no one was talking or eating. Sad, sad!
Very wise words. I have three children, the youngest is 21 and I feel the time went by so quickly! You will have lots of time for computers and cellphones later. Enjoy your children now. (And I’m one of few people I know who don’t have a cellphone)