This morning I couldn’t sleep, so I found myself reading through old archives of my life on the blog. It’s so weird how events from your past can seem so distant, yet at the same time, so fresh. I’ve changed so much in the past 3 years, it was almost like reading someone else’s blog. But SNAP! I used to be so witty! Check out this post from July 2010. How many of you have been around long enough to remember this?!
If you’re not completely open when it comes to your bowels, I won’t be offended if you stop reading now… and never return to my blog.
My strapping husband has become comfortable enough in the stability of our marriage to announce that he needs softer, more durable toilet paper. My first instinct was to get defensive and fight for Angel Soft (the perfect combination of softness and strength). But then I chose to listen to his lengthy proposal for why it’s important for guys to have their super durable, highly absorbent Charmin Ultra. Something about avoiding dingleberries. (google it)
I thought to myself, ‘why is your sphincter more delicate and high maintenance than my own?’
Literally, this man rates TP in the categories of softness as well as durability on scales of 1-10, everywhere we go. He thinks he’s a toilet paper connoisseur.
Is this directly related to why men spend so much time in the bathroom? And why do they use so MUCH toilet paper? They only have to use it once a day (or so), where us ladies have to use it every time!
It wasn’t worth the fight for me, and because my delicate parts don’t require expensive plush TP, I buy two separate toilet papers every time. Think of it as ‘his and hers.’
Since a topic like this isn’t widely discussed, I’m curious how other couples deal with their toilet paper differences? Do you give in and use the TP he likes? Do you tell him to deal with it? Do you even have toilet paper differences?? Yes I’m promoting candid discussion about marriage and toilet paper. Please respond at your earliest convenience …anonymously if you must.
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My husband is the total opposite.. he wants to buy the cheapest he can find, this is one thing he doesnt want to spend a lot on. We live in a rental so dont have much storage.. the other day I saw a sale on some good stuff and said I had a coupon so it would be cheap and said I wanted to get it. His answer was that we just got some a while ago and didnt have the room for new tp yet : (
These are hilarious! Seriously. Funniest thing ive heard or read all day! I am allergic to something in Angel Soft so unfortunately, we cant go that route. We have been getting Charmin Basic I think it is. I cannot stand the super thick Charmin with aloe and all that other stuff. Its so thick that you can only use two squares, which is TOTALLY not enough to safe guard your hand from slippage. ew. My TP at work isnt horrible either. Couldnt tell you what it is though.
This is hilarious! We are angel soft type of people {both of us}, but we buy the Costco brand equivalent…it lasts forever! Now here’s the real deal in our household… My husband’s so sensitive about his backside that he carries his “wipes” in a ziploc bag in his pocket EVERYWHERE we go. No lie. And if we leave for someplace and he’s forgotten his sacred wipes he freaks out about having to go #2 someplace without them! LOL!
My plumbing wants Scott, but DH want Charmin. So he deals with the backups.
I am soooo uber thrifty that WE use the costco big pack… that thing lasts like 6 months 🙂 but the “berry” convo did come up… So I buy him the Charmin wet wipes and he couldn’t be happier 😀
i think you should install 2 tp holders and write (oh so prett-i-ly) “his” and “hers” over them. why not? would be cute!
Scott. Single-wrapped rolls. For 38 years. In our house, I’ve finally convinced hubby to put the new roll ON the roller AND have it roll the way I like. 🙂 Never heard of dingleberries! ROFLOL
I saw the post on said fb post and thought I’d ring in. We are a SCOTT TP all the way. It is soft even with one ply ( no sand paper here!)last longer that the cushy stuff and we don’t like Charmin it leaves ya feeling like a “fuzzy butt”
Dingleberries! ROFL! My husband uses the same term!!! I so had to share this post with him on his facebook page! 🙂
I hate Charmin. It’s so slick it slides against itself, leaving your hand unexpectedly unguarded and sliding against not-yet-cleaned areas. Not cool.
I normally buy Angel Soft but Charmin Ultra was on sale once and cost less so I grabbed that instead…my 4-year-old told me “Mama, that’s the softest toilet paper I have ever felt and it makes my booty feel good!”. Sold.
I use the cheap-o Scott single ply myself. BUT: I have known many men who insist they have the super plush stuff, and panic when they only have 10 rolls left in the house (what?) So yeah, I’ve heard all that mumbo jumbo of how their asses are sooo delicate…pffft! It goes in the same category as when a man has a cold you’d think he was dying, but a woman with a cold can go to work and take care of the kids, groceries, meals AND change the empty TP roll! 🙂
My husband doesn’t care what he wipes with as long as there are extra rolls in the bathroom and he doesn’t have to buy it. 😉
Charmin Ultra is the only way to go! That’s what I always bought and I think it was a welcome change for my husband since his mom always bought the cheap stuff. We skimp on lots of things in our house, but toilet paper is not one of them 🙂
I hate to tell you but I am with your husband. Charmin is the only kind of TP I buy. (No matter how much it costs which is turning into an arm and a leg!) My husband has never complained about what I bring home. However, he is a teacher and he does complain about the TP in school. Those poor kids……….
hahaaaa this is hilarious! I’m a big fan of angel soft as well, and actually Chris thinks I use too much. He doesn’t care what he wipes with as long as its not sandpaper.