Being a new mommy isn’t NEARLY as hard as everyone makes it sound. I still do the dishes, laundry, housecleaning, blogging, and yes… I even take showers. Impressive, I know. I’ve even been itching to get back to fixing up furniture, but I have to wait for a certain non-running vehicle to vacate the garage before I can whip out my can of spray paint.
The hardest thing about motherhood so far… is feeding two babies. Since I failed at breastfeeding (please, no hate mail), we’ve gone to plan B. Tandem bottle feeding just doesn’t work when they’re newborns. They drink at different paces and need to burp at various time increments, all the while formula is streaming down tiny chins and I have to stop feeding both babies to clean it up, and then fight them to re-latch. They’re floppy, and slide down in their boppy’s so they aren’t at the right angle. ETC.
So I feed them individually.
I’m not asking for advice. Unless your a twin mom who bottle-fed your babies with success. But I just thought I would share this humorous email I just sent my husband at work:
Adelyn cries whenever I’m feeding Paisley, but when I go to feed Adelyn, she immediately falls asleep. Then, when I finally give up on her and go back to Paisley, Adelyn starts crying again. Paisley drinks a little more and then takes forever to burp… while Adelyn is crying. When I give up on Paisley and put her back in the cradle and pick up screaming Adelyn to eat some more, she immediately falls asleep again. At which point I give up, swaddle her and put her in the cradle… then she’s awake again and fussing. It all starts over again in two hours.
How’s your day going?
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I love the idea of my girls sharing a room; whispering and giggling into the…
So I know you posted this over a month ago, but I just followed through a link on Pinterest, read a little about your story, and HAD to comment.
My twins are almost six months old, and we also did IVF {although I wasn’t at all brave enough to post about it online — kudos to you for that}. We’re also bottle feeding, and I decided early on that tandem feeding was impossible, at least for us. Any kind of propping situation didn’t work out, because our babies are so fidgety, they’ll wiggle out of any position we put them in. They also used to be terrible at the whole sucking/swallowing/breathing thing, so one of them was always getting it wrong and swallowing air or coughing, and each of them needed a parent’s full attention.
At the time, with the help of family members, I learned to be okay with one crying while I fed the other. I reassured myself that they knew that I loved them, and that crying for fifteen minutes wasn’t going to harm them {my sister told me to think of it as exercise for their lungs, which helped a little}. It was never easy to hear them cry, but it got easier when I remembered that I was doing my best. Maybe you will think of a better solution that works for you — if so, I’d love to hear it. 🙂
Also, feeding them has gotten SO much easier. They’re better at it, so they don’t need help so often, and they’re better at being patient and waiting for their respective turns. I anticipate that it will continue to get easier, for you and me both.
Hi there, I just came across your blog through pinterest (loved the kitchen gloss pattern <3!) and read your whole pregnancy story and want to say a huge Congratulations to you and your hubby, those girls are adorable!!
I know it must feel too exhausting to be true at times, but remember the time when you sat with all your pregnant friends complaining of how tired they were? Well now you’re one of them! Yay! It is a blessing in many ways 😀
I totally relate to your struggle and feel genuinely happy for you. I myself am going through infertility but have complete utter unshakable faith that God will bless with the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen when the time is right.. In fact I do have this weird feeling that I might be pregnant [I know I feel that every single cycle LOL but still one never knows ;)]
Wow.. sorry for blabbing on, the reason for my comment was to tell you about “My Brest Friend”, have you heard of it? It’s supposed to be an award winning feeding pillow that you strap around you so you’re handsfree and makes feeding a breeze! Almost all of the friends swear by it, none of them had twins, but MyBrestFriend have a special pillow for twins!
Check it out here: http://www.mybrestfriend.com/products/twins-plus-pillow/
Here’s where they sell them: http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=my+brest+friend&hl=en&prmd=ivns&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=11670528579185804635&sa=X&ei=DD9HTvzBNcTtrAe8uqTTAw&ved=0CGAQ8wIwAA#ps-sellers
Hope you could get one and try it out 🙂
I haven’t read the responses so forgive me if this advice has been given. You need a podee! I breast fed my kids but I’ve never had twins so no judgement on my end. But the podee is hands free bottle feeding and my friend used one with her baby and it was awesome! Go check it out asap, you might thank me ;P http://www.podee.com/
Regarding anonymous post 8-10-11 at 1:39pm
I saved leftovers with both of my children (now 4years and 18months) and they are as healthy as can be. If you save it for days, then yes worry about bacteria, but if you are using it just the next time you feed there is no harm. And with a newborn, or in this case 2, that formula will be used within a few hours. And it was my understanding that this is supposed to be supportive, not lets give more anxiety for the subject.
I found this and thought of you: http://www.ikeahackers.net/2010/12/ultimate-twin-highchair.html
You guys def need to make one of these!
Have you checked to see if you qualify for WIC?? I didn’t think we would, but found out the income cut off was $40,000/yr! WIC saved us a bundle and I can’t imagine affording formula for twins without it. Hang in there..try to let go of the guilt. Just the fact that you’re trying to do the best you can shows what a good Mommy you are!:D
It was my understanding that you should not reuse leftover formula…I think that bacteria can form. Adults can eat leftovers without a problem, but babies do not have fully developed immune systems, so I would not take a chance. Don’t beat yourself up, you are doing the best you can, you will learn to juggle these two babies…most moms struggle with just one newborn, and you have TWO! Take it easy on yourself.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with saving the leftovers. Formula (even the most generic)is far too pricey just for one baby! Just think of it this way: when you get a bottle/glass of something to drink you don’t always finish it off right then do you? So what is it you do with that bit that’s left? You save it for later.
Just like anything else: once open-refrigerate.
End of worries.
As for an easy burping technique we had to lay my daughter on her belly laying down our legs (facing away from burper) and use the heel of our hand up and down her back and even thumping that little behind. She was terrible at burping. Another thing to try is the mylicon gas drops, they make them burp easier.
welcome to motherhood. a certain amount of guilt just automatically comes with being a mom. do yourself a favor and give yourself a break. you are doing the best you can and you love those girls more than anyone in the world. you’re doing great, and keep up the good work!
Welcome to motherhood with the guilt thing. I had it with isabelle but it was magnified with the twins. I bottle fed them individually until they were old enough to hold their heads up and be more in control. Then I used the bouncy chairs and sat on the floor in between them while I fed them. Hang in there!
If the girls have the hang of sucking well, try these. I have a friend that used them and LOVED them!http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3393781
I have 8 month old twin boys and we also “failed” at breastfeeding. Oh boy do I remember the guilt! One thing I never anticipated was how emotional I would feel about breastfeeding (or the lack there of). I ending up pumping for 6 months (which is probably why I never got any laundry done, dinner made or house cleaned, so I am super impressed you are able to do that!) but had supply issues so they got about half breast milk and half formula. One of the main reasons I pumped is my guys had milk protein sensitivities that were pretty bad and they tolerated breast milk much better than formula (lest you feel any guilt about not pumping which I totally don’t think you should!)
During the earliest months I sat them in their little bouncy chairs and I sat on the floor between them and bottle fed them. We use boppys now, but I think the chairs worked really well in the beginning. I tried to hold one as often as possible with one in the chair and one in the crook of my bent leg (sitting half criss cross). I don’t know if your girls take binkies but that worked wonders for us when they had to wait for me to burp the other.
Also I tried the bottle slings that hang from their carseats with my guys and they did not like them one bit. They struggled to get the hang of it and had to be burped so often (every 2oz) that it just wasn’t worth it. A bottle prop would have worked much better for us.
I agree with other’s comments, it takes a lot of trial and error and your kids change too so just when you think you’ve figured it out somebody decides that it doesn’t work for them anymore! My boys didn’t love to eat and it wasn’t until they started solid foods (and faster nipples) that I felt they really got into a good consistent rhythm. Keeping a sense of humor about it really helps (and I can tell you are from the snippet to your husband).
Formula is crazy expensive. If you haven’t already sign up to get the coupon checks from whatever formula you use. Also, I haven’t tried this yet, but check out this link (http://rootbeertwins.blogspot.com/2009/07/discounts-and-freebies-for-multiples.html)
She sent out a form letter and copy of her babies birth certificates to companies and got some free stuff (she lists the addresses and what she received on the blog). I really need to do this, who knows maybe we’ll at least get some free formula out of it!
It does eventually get easier!
I have twin girls and when they were newborns and needed to eat at the same time, I’d sit in the middle of the sofa with each of the girls on either side of me laying in their boppy pillows (laying with their feet pointing toward me). I was then able to hold their bottles to feed them both at the same time. I hope this helps. You’ll figure out what works for you and your girls through a lot of trial and error, but you’re doing a great job–in fact, the most important job there is! It does get easier, I promise (my girls are now 10 years old).
Wow i’m impressed with your cleaning/laundry/showering, good for you (I didn’t get back to those things for a long time post-baby, post any of the 4 babies, really). Sorry the feeding thing is hard, i’m sending love and prayers your way. What a beautiful family you have.
i totally put leftovers in the fridge. and have you tried propping the bottles while the babies are on their sides? i propped my little mans bottles pretty much from day one because my 4 year old didnt tolerate me sitting still for the 30 mins it takes for him to eat 🙂
i still prop and hes 6 months, especially at night when im a zombie and hes hungry. i turn him on his side – put a blanket behind him to keep him from turning back over, get a blanket – i use the new – all the rage – thin swaddling blankets, prop the bottle and done 🙂
good luck.
I’m a mommy to twins and the feeding thing can be so tricky! Learn the art of propping and it will be so much easier on you. Before you know it they will be holding the bottle themselves. Good luck!
I’d invite anyone who has boo to say about your choice of formula to come over and nurse your girls themselves. If they care so much, they can put a boob where the baby’s mouth is, so to speak. Hang in there! 🙂 I’m a mom of two little guys–it just gets better and better (and easier!).
Hey lady…
I echo the refrigerating leftovers. As long as you use them within something like 8 hours everything should be fine. We did it with Jocelyn and so far she hasn’t killed us in our sleep 🙂
hey bethany, that sounds stressful and hard. I will be praying for you. Your Father in heaven has no condemning thoughts towards you, His heart towards you is full of love, encouragement, and comfort. Don’t believe anyone’s condemning thoughts or words to you, just believe what your Father says to you. He has given you His Holy Spirit to comfort and help you, and when you approach Him you will receive mercy and help in your time of need (Hebrews 4:16).
I feel your pain. I too recently had a baby and the breast feeding thing isn’t happening. She just doesn’t want to do it. I try nursing and pump and give formula when need.
I’m really tired of people making me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Trust me I’ve tried and still trying. Even her doctor made me feel like I’m not doing something right. He seemed appalled I was giving her breast milk and formula. But she is happy and putting on weight, so I must be doing something right. Do what works for you and your girls.
I am a mommy of twins (now 2 1/2) and I bottle fed after one month of breastfeeding. I fed them at the same time by sitting in a chair with a boppy around me and basically squishing each child between the arm of the recliner and the side of the boppy. I saw the other day an advertisement for bottle holders, I never used them but maybe that’s worth a try.
You’re not a failure. As a parent, especially a parent of twins, my saving grace was LOWERING my standards. So, my kid has formula stains on every outfit because I was burping his brother, oh well! I totally agree with Autumn, babies cry. They will be okay and so will you!
Also, I absolutely put the leftovers in the fridge, do not feel bad about that at all, it’s perfectly alright! Use it for the next time.
About the physical attachment thing, with the blanket prop, you can do that for one baby, then switch it with the next for the next feeding. That way both babies have their mommy time, but not at the exact same time.
Just because you have twins doesn’t mean they have to do and get the same thing at the same time all the time. It’s alright if you switch, and you’ll find that you will just have to. It’s all a learning process of figuring out what is right for you and for your babies, which doesn’t start until you’re at home and can take a few weeks, if not more.
You are in NO WAY a failure – you birthed 2 beautiful HEALTHY daughters. As someone said earlier, you all will find your “groove”. Things will fall into place.
I’m a twin mommy who has bottled fed both babies successfully. When they were very little, I would use the two boppys but not burp them until they were halfway done (since you always have a slow eater and a fast one, this isn’t too bad due to the “blanket prop” which I mention below).
I didn’t have problems with them sliding really but since you do, put a blanket under their little legs to help them not slide.
Also, the BIGGEST thing that is helpful is prop up that bottle with a blanket! That way you don’t have your arms all stretched out for both babies AND you don’t have to stop feeding both if you need to pay attention to just one for whatever reason, prop up that bottle! Trust me, it will save your sanity! 🙂
My babies are now 8 months old and since 3.5 months have NOT been on the same schedule which is awesome. They do sometimes eat at the same time and when they do need just formula instead of mushy baby food, I prop up the bottle for one or both of them (they still don’t understand holding the bottle but they are definitely getting there – they were two months early so not really at 8 month status developmentally, especially my little boy who is more like a 4 month old still due to some other issues)
My best friend had twins 2 years ago this week. She simply couldn’t keep up with the breastfeeding of two newborns and they spent time in the NICU after birth so it made it even harder for her. They also did the crying back and forth. I babysat once for a half an hour (yikes) and she came back to me frazzled. She said this to me and it stuck…as a mom of twins, she has a lot more patience than I do. She said “They’re just going to cry sometimes. As long as they aren’t in danger, it’s ok!”
You’re doing wonderfully I’m sure and it’ll get easier! My friend makes it look like cake! Go bottles!
You did not fail … not everyone can breastfeed and certainly not every baby can breastfeed … we all have our limits. I’m not a twin mommy or even a twin grandmother. I would suggest that you might try feeding one baby in a separate room so her sister doesn’t hear her feeding. Burping well we always sat the baby upright, supporting the head with one hand and burp with the other. You’re doing great.
I think bottle feeding is great. I hope you all find your groove soon.