I usually use my Friday posts to update my friends and family (and others!) on the girls’ newest developments and how we’re faring with our little twinkies. But today I want to talk about my hopes and dreams for my precious daughters.
Nick and I have often discussed how we don’t want to argue in front of our children, or use any 4-letter-words, or watch inappropriate movies in their presence, etc. All of the typical parenting precautions we as parents take to raise our children ‘the right way’. But about two weeks ago, I realized that I was complaining a lot about how I still feel fat and can’t drop these last 30 lbs. It’s so frustrating not feeling beautiful, and not fitting into my closet full of clothes.
And then it hit me… My daughters are growing up hearing Mommy tear herself down. They’re going to learn really fast that being skinny and perfect is important. As their mother, I’m setting a standard for their body-image and self-image; a LIFETIME of confidence or insecurity. What a responsibility!
It’s so much more important to me that they be beautiful on the inside, and kind to others. When I was a little girl, my dad used to tell me “you’re prettiest when you smile” … and I want my girls to smile. I want them to be well-adjusted. Confident.
SO. All of this leads me to a decision… either embrace my new body, buy a new wardrobe, and move on. Or, get off my a** and do something about it!!!
I never thought I would say this, but… (drumroll) I’VE STARTED RUNNING. Yep, this girl right here. The girl that threw up in high school running the mile on the first LAP! The girl that runs a block and then falls to the ground gasping for air, weeping and wheezing, and wanting to die.
Counting calories and aerobics weren’t cutting it for me… so I’ve resorted to running. And I absolutely LOVE it. Every morning while the girls take their first nap, I slap on two bras and my running shoes, and I run a mile (6 laps around the perimeter of our property). It’s still cool outside, and quiet. And beautiful. I run, and it feels good.
I’ve done this every morning for 2 weeks, and I feel amazing. I actually look forward to my run. Being alone with my thoughts. Enjoying the rolling cornfields in the distance. Thinking.
And I can feel and see a change in my body already. My clothes are fitting differently. I can’t believe it.
I know I may not always feel or look amazing, or have the time to run or exercise. But no matter what, I’m committed to keeping my thoughts of insecurities to myself.
…And I choose to smile.
This is amazing!! It is so inspiring that you are not only doing something that’s good for your body, but also that you are doing it for such a noble reason. I love that it’s not because you want to look good in shorts or to fit into an old dress (though those do help too) but that you are doing it for your girls. You’re an inspiration to all of us!
I am so proud of you. I have thought about running millions of times and I just cannot bring myself to do it (but I have recently started cycling, and that is much more do-able for me.)
The positive body image thing is so important to me too. I have decided that I will not use the “f” word (fat) in front of my kids. I grew up with my mom talking about her “fat butt” my whole life and I believe that it has affected my body image a lot. I don’t want to do that to my girls either!
Love this post! I recently started running too. It is amazing how good you can feel and how it gets easier if you just keep doing it! I have two little boys and feel the same pressure. I want them to know what a confident person looks like and who is comfortable with their body, so they can be like that and be around people who feel the same way!
Thanks again!
Courtney
PS….love the orange chair weekly pictures!
look at those sweet smiles and those little baby toes! You’re doing a great job, they look happy and healthy.
Brava! So glad that you’re making a conscious decision to build your daughters (and yourself!) up in this way!
Love the post. I just came back from swim suit shopping. It wasn’t fun before baby and NOT fun after baby. I need this reminder today. I have a little girl close to your girls age and I want her to know no matter what she is beautiful.
Fat is a bad word in our house and NOT allowed. So yea it’s a whole new thing with those girls in the house!
i’ve lost weight recently following Paleo. Low carbs high protein, healthy fats. no grains, no bread, no exercise right now:) 85% is what you put in your mouth. wow those carbs make a difference! even from fruit! So happy to hear about your running! I dream that I may do that some day too. lol
Brenda s.
good for you for being able to recognize how important it is to teach your girls to be heathy, not skinny!! also, it is ok to argue in front of the girls. they need to know an acceptable way to argue… keep voices down, no name calling, things like that. of course they dont need to know all parental business, but just to know that no two people get along without ever having arguements/disagreements. and that it is ok to agree to disagree.
Take it easy on yourself. None of us are perfect and we all have some kind of insecurities. Beautiful inside is what matters and when I see thepictures of you, you look beautifully happy! Teach your girls that they dont have to worry about those insecurities when they get older. They will be beautiful people no matter what because they will be brought up with the proper values.
GOOOOOD for you, Beth. I have been running and biking. However, i don’t have kids so it is alot easier. I am so happy you said what you did in your blog. It IS important for kids to see a strong self image coming from their mom.
Deborah
I started running recently too! Isn’t it amazing how a little run just lifts your entire day?! It puts me in a better mood immediately and I love the quiet time to just listen to music and think about things. I’ve been doing the couch to 5k program. .not that I plan on running a 5k but its really helped with timing and building up for longer runs that don’t make me want to die lol!