I’m all about being real on this ol’ blog. And one thing I wasn’t expecting with parenthood is the pressure to feel like a rockstar-mom. I’ve always taken great pride in how easy my twins are. They’ve always slept through the night, and been easy babies… till recently. And I don’t want to admit my struggles!
In addition to this parental pressure, I have lots of guilt for feeling overwhelmed when I have two screaming babies and haven’t left the house in 13 days. I feel like others expect me to be happy and loving life no matter what… because we won our fertility battle and finally got our little bundles of blessing. I even have trouble admitting my struggles to my own family and friends… even my husband. But here’s the truth, sometimes I feel like I’m going completely crazy, inadequate as a mother… and ugly.
It’s not really as bad as it sounds, and I don’t ALWAYS feel this way. But it’s been a rough week. Paisley has been struggling with acid reflux, and she has a hemangioma that broke open and has been causing her lots of pain. She’s usually my little angel baby… but wow. Crabby CRABBY baby, and understandably so. I’ll be glad if/when we get past this particular stage. Adelyn recognizes her sister’s distress and has decided to take over sissy’s role as angel baby to give me a break. She’s been so pleasant and smiley! Loving it!
I know this post is super negative and whiny… but it’s my blog, and this is my real life. I’m not going to sugar-coat anything! I’m hoping that there are others that identify with my mommy-insecurities and guilt. I am not (and will never be) one of those put-together mom’s whose kids are dressed adorably in non-stained outfits, and herself wears size two designer jeans, always has great hair days and matching undergarments, and brags about how her 1-year-old can count to 20 and fluently speaks several languages. I’m embracing my imperfections, my sweatpants, and my perfectly imperfect family. Take THAT!