Dear Uterus,
I hate you with all the fires of hell. You have made me miserable for years, and the only thing that got me through it was knowing that it would be worth all the horrible menstral cramps and pelvic pain once I hold my own flesh and blood for the first time. But now I know the truth about you. You’ve flung your Endometrial garbage all over my falopian tubes, ovaries, and even up into my lungs, … tissue that is meant to serve as nourishment for a growing child. That tissue has built up over the years and caused irreversible damage and scar tissue, making it likely impossible for us to conceive, which is the only thing I want out of life. You’ve caused me unspeakable pain, both physically and emotionally. I hate you. You make me feel like an inadequate woman, incapable of sustaining the life of a child. A blessing that most take for granted, or even wish they weren’t given. I wish I could take out all my anger and pain on you instead of those that are close to me. You’ve cost us hundreds of dollars, and in the end, will cost us tens of thousands of dollars, because I will not let you win. And when I get what I want from you, I will have you eradicated from my body …banished forever. You will no longer follow me around everywhere I go, inhabiting my body and my life. Consider yourself an outcast amongst my organs.
Warm Regards,
Bethany
Bethany
I literally stumbled upon this page and I am so glad I did thank you for your openness and honestly <3 much love and congratulations on your little angels <3
Congratulations on having successful IVF! Can’t imagine what its like…… Yes there is this innate drive to pro-create but sometimes circumstances don’t go your way, like with me who was in a relationship from 27-35 when finally confessed he didn’t wants kids so I moved on……the years went by and then by the time I met the love of my life he already had 2 teenagers and now wanted to party! So that was it for me. No babies 🙁 but you can have a fantastic life without children. I do have other children like nieces and nephews, friend’s kids etc and I particularly don’t mind not having kids ….at 6am……on a Saturday morning……after a night of a few drinks……desparately looking for Tylenol LOL. Again, congrats on your little girls and BTW you are a funny girl ! Shez D from Australia
This letter could have been written by me about 18 months ago…the infertility issues themselves are different, but the hatred, rage, and pain is the same.
I’m so glad that we have BOTH gotten our blessings. 🙂
Bethany,
Your letter moved me to tears! You see, I have managed to very easily conceive and give birth to four lovely children the first three times I was 18, 20 and 24 and had three girls without even having to “try”, then again at 37 when I had a son after conceiving during the second monthof trying. But when I tried again to have one last baby at age 40 I had waited too long and have felt over the top sad about it. It’s now positively too late as I’ve had my falopian tubes removed an a uterine ablation done to reduce cancer risk. Your letter put everything into perspective for me and I’m sitting here crying! You see, if I had to write a letter to my uterus it would have to be a love letter for providing a safe, healthy place for my children to grow, I realize that the frustration I’ve been feeling over my “old” eggs and aged uterus is misplaced, she served me well all these years and I’m very lucky! Thank you for showing me that!!
What a beautiful perspective! Thank you for sharing your story! I’m not as angry at my reproductive system these days now that it allowed me to have two beautiful babes. But there were some dark days for sure!
Love this.
Beth and Nick–I do not know you. I stumbled on your website when I was looking for pictures of your tile backsplashes (which I love, btw). I’m a house flipper and occasionally something like this would suit my needs.
I sincerely believe we come across other people’s pages, etc through the hand of God. See I, too, have been struggling with infertility. I’m already blessed with two children. After a miscarriage I have been given a label 2.5 years later of Unexplained Secondary Infertility. Nothing biological with either of us.
I’ve gotta tell ya…Your letter was so heartfelt and wonderful. I wish I could give you a hug. But I don’t know you. LOL. Fight the good fight, my friend! Looks like you’ve got a lot of backsplashes to paint so you can pay for IVF, girlfriend! You can do it!!!
=) i like this.