I realize I haven’t talked much about my inactive reproductive system lately. That’s partly to spare you all of my cynicism, but it’s also because I’ve effectively distracted myself… by life. Keeping busy, working lots, crafting, home improvements here and there, painting backsplashes just about every weekend. It all keeps my mind off the only thing that really matters to me. You might consider this denial. But I just consider it survival.
If I ever write a book, it’ll be called ‘What to Expect When You’re NOT Expecting.’
We’re getting closer and closer to our goal to Build-a-Baby… almost halfway!! We don’t talk about it very often, and I only cry about once a week now. Nick and I love spending time together, but it doesn’t happen as often as we’d like. I wish we could be busy because we’re driving our kids to soccer practice and saxophone lessons and little league games. That busyness would be acceptable and justified. And preferred.
I want to thank all of you who have sent words of encouragement… strangers even. You have no idea what it means to feel your support, and hear your similar stories. It helps me remember that I’m not alone.
Ewww! what’s with the website you provided? Are you thinking S&E just needs to eat better and not get stressed? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Way too “pushy”!
I am so sorry you have to go through this. Some friends of ours are currently struggling with trying to conceive and I can’t imagine how hard it must be. I passed this website onto my friends and thought I’d do the same for you. I’m sorry if this pushy.
http://www.naturallyknockedup.com/
Hang in there – it sounds like you have a wonderful partnership with your husband, and things may work out somehow or another. I have been through what you are going through, and you’re right, every month you die a little. Friends and family wouldn’t tell me they were pregnant…till I finally told them, “look I wouldn’t wish this on anyone – I am so happy for you!” And it was true. I went through my infertility issues 20+ years ago, but remember them just like it was yesterday. You have a lot of good support, and for sure you are not alone. My 43 year old cousin had to have a complete hysterectomy due to cancer a year after she married- and at 2 am this morning, from Australia, she and her husband heard the baby’s heartbeat that her 39 year old sister offered to carry for her as a surrogate in California. So, we do believe in miracles…one way or another ~ although sometimes there are dark days before the sun shines through.
Beth I just read your story all of it, and I fell like I know you. I also only dated my husband for a short time before getting married. When you know you know. And although I laughed at some of your Baby post i also feel for you girl. I wish there was a magic baby potion but as you know there isn’t. But maybe with so much support it will help you get through this and it is funny sometimes when you stop wanting and thinking about something so much it happens good luck to you and Nick.