Cynical

I haven’t felt like doing much of anything lately… not sure what’s wrong with me. But last night we turned down all party invitations, and went to bed at 7:30. And now, today is New Years Day… we are super bored, broke, without food in the house, and nothing is open in town. And even if store WERE open, we’re too busy paying off our debt and worshiping Dave Ramsey to enjoy our lives in the slightest. And so we sit, and play Wii bowling for hours, because it’s the only game we have. And my feet are perpetually cold. AND I’m totally breaking out, like you wouldn’t believe. I feel ugly. And without purpose.

In other news, yesterday was not ONLY the last day of the year, but it was also the last day of my job at the nursing home. It was a very bittersweet day of saying goodbye to my sweet adorable residents, and laughing in the faces of the horrible bitchy nurses that I’ve been forced to tolerate for close to 6 months. Since I gave my two week notice, I’ve gone back and forth, wondering if it’s the right decision to leave. But in the end, I realize that my dislike for my coworkers has been making me very unhappy and unpleasant to be around. And, quite frankly, I’m getting tired of being tired at 6pm every evening because I have to wake up at 3:30am to be in Grinnell at 5:30. I know these are all unacceptable reasons to abandon my loving elderly friends… I almost feel like a parent, leaving my children. What will Francis do without me? I shall visit her.

On Monday, I start a new job working as a receptionist at McFarland Clinic in Marshalltown. No more early mornings or being forced to work weekends and holidays. And I can carpool with my loving husband. AND I’ll still be working in the healthcare industry, which will hopefully still give me the sense that I’m ‘helping’ people. Maybe. We’ll see. I’m kinda excited about it, and dreading it at the same time. Starting a new job is always intimidating… being the new girl, that doesn’t know anything about anything, isn’t in the ‘inner circle’ of friends around the workplace, etc. But I’m sure I’ll pull through.